What do you do when your good isnt good enough?

I have officially lost all my blogging skills after being on hiatus (or close to! It's a miracle if you're still reading this) for months and months. My mind is a huge jumbled mess, of confusing thoughts and emotions that I can't even put into a coherent paragraph. (Ps sidetrack! ROFL I JUST REALISED THAT ALMOST AT THIS TIME EVERY YEAR, IM BLOGGING ABOUT MYSELF BEING STRESSED AND FRUSTRATED OVER BAD GRADES LOLOLOL. There's no cure for stupidity)

Reading back, I realised how little and insignificant those results were. All i needed was to do JUST enough to promote, JUST enough to take triple science, JUST enough to progress to 4H2s. BUT THE THING IS, I can no longer use my past experiences as a benchmark anymore. I HAVE SO MUCH MORE AT STAKE THIS YEAR, my whole future is on the line. We're no longer aiming for the minimum thus there is really no room left for failure. I'm so disappointed in myself. How I'm taking this year so lightly, not understanding the seriousness of the situation and how if I screw up the As, I no longer can make excuses for myself like I used to.

Anyway, that being said. I guess since I always fare the worst in my first term and do better subsequently, this year will be no different? I don't know. It's exhausting to bottle up your emotions! Maybe I'm not as good at juggling work and play as I think I am. And... I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT results can kill me like nothing else can :'(


I can't write. Oh lookie, it's 29th feb