Chashing your dreams

Today at tuition, my tuition teacher was talking to this student about how she should reconsider being a teacher because a teacher's life is really hard. She said something about them having to work 12 to 13 hours a day, yet the student blatantly told her that it has been her dream and she has applied for it already.

This led me to thinking. Dreams... what are they? I have heard countless stories about people giving up everything just to chase their dreams, or to apply for a job they have always dreamed about, despite their parents objections and other money problems.... I really envy these people. If you dont know me well, I really have no idea what I wanna do with my life. Ky and yt can probably vouch for that LOL, I once drove them nuts cuz I changed my occupation every 5 minutes.

I've always taken life really lightly, reckoned I was still too young to sit down and really think about what I wanna become, whether there're any dreams I wanna pursue, I mean afterall there's still a long way to go and much more to experience before I officially become an adult and start my working life right? But now that EVERYBODY (literally! one of my aunt's FAQs is: Eh have you thought about what course you wanna take in future anot? WTF. Another will be: Can I speak to your mom? But that's beside the point) is pressuring me to start thinking about these kinda stuff, and to think about it, I'll enter university at 19, and thats only.. 3 YEARS AWAY. FML.


What do I wanna be? I DONT KNOW. I really dont. Actually I do la, being the very materialistic singaporean, of cuz you should aim for the job that earns you the biggest bucks! (Actually hor, my tuition teacher also said today that a teacher's pay is not as miserable as everybody thinks it is. A senior teacher probably earns up to 8k, which sounds like a hell lot to me). I wished I had this childhood dream, like something I have ALWAYS wanted, that would make my decision now a whole lot easier and I can be this person who chases after her own dreams, just like in fairytales. PSH okay I admit, I had childhood dreams, but they are really not feasible. I think for a good part of my primary school years, I've wanted to be..... the operator of the rides at escape theme park -.- HELLO. What a lousy dream! LOL I wished it was something cooler, like an astronaut or something.

I dont see myself 10 years from now. I have no idea of what I might possibly be. I have no dream (only that I wanna be able to design my own house someday and have a dog), no subject I'm particularly good in, no connections, not a heiress of any large chains of hotels, no burning passion to wanna help a certain type of people and no interest in anything job related.

SUCKS RIGHT ZZZ. I AM SUCH A LOSER :(


My current plan was to just keep taking the subjects I'm better in, follow the crowd (hence triple science and PCME, told ya I was a loser) and just simply take whatever course I can with my A level grades in uni. Y'know, come to think of it, I came to RV also because at one point of my primary school life, everybody was aiming for RV and I was overcome with this desire to wanna be in this school too. (SERIOUSLY.. WHAT WERE WE THINKING THEN OMG)

I am studying damn hard for nothing lor. My momma once said: "Dont worry, just study hard. When you get good results for everything, every door will open for you." Psh mom, I dont even know what I wanna do with my life :( I will die someday if I keep following the crowd. WISHED I KNOW WHAT I WANNA DO so I have something to work towards! They say we must always have a goal and clear end point to whatever we do, I dont have sia :(

Is this a worrying problem anot ah? Sigh, need to change my current plan already, will start reading the university websites, consult people and stuff already. I am 16 and need to start being in control of my own life! Yeh!

BTW. ANYBODY WANNA WATCH INCEPTION??!! :) Heh heh.


ON A LIGHTER NOTE:
Waaaay back in sec 1, I went a bit mad over this person I met ON MAPLE. YES HAHA. The way he spoke was a bit.. Different from the rest of my peers and my fellow sec 1 maplers. He sounded more.. I dunno, grown up and it helped that his msn profile pic was damn cute :P I made cheryl try to add him on friendster (REMEMBER CHERYL! HAHA) cuz we are the ultimate stalkers and I remember how I once checked every single day to see if he'ad accepted the friend request. Alas.. He never did :( I think maybe my msn profile pic and my friendster wall pic was way too ugly :( I got over that heartbreak soon anyway.

BUT HAHA!!! GUESS WHO ADDED ME ON FB A FEW DAYS BACCCK. HAHAHAHAHA. I swear saw that once-familiar name and BURST OUT LAUGHING LMAO. Fate is REALLY wierd.